“People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it” – Edith Schaeffer
A few weeks ago, at a conference, I was chatting with another dog trainer about a client of hers having issues with sibling rivalry between their 5 year-old adult male dog (whom they had had since he was a puppy himself) and a new, 4 month old puppy that they had brought home about a week prior. The adult dog had always been reactive with other dogs, and was targeting the new puppy. No serious injury inflicted, but scary nonetheless. I asked her what she was doing to remedy the situation and she stated matter-of-factly that she was going to recommend that the client euthanize or re-home the older dog. I must have cocked my head in the same way that my dogs do when I grab the keys and head to the car without them, because she quickly backed up her statement with the following one: “Well, the older dog is just not what they expected and I am afraid that if the puppy grows up with him, the puppy will live her life walking on eggshells!”
My mind was boggled. . . are we supposed to expect perfection from our dogs? Then I thought of my own dog, Curious.
I remember the day Curious was able to call our house her “home.” We were 2 days into fostering her, Curi was sleeping soundly on her new dog bed next to my husband’s side when he rolled over and said “I really like her.” I knew then that Curi had found a permanent home with us, but I had no clue what was in store for me in the next 5 years to come.
Curious came to us with MANY handling problems and reactive issues with other dogs. She had been a stray on the streets of Philadelphia prior to living in our house and she knew nothing about proper home living, including house training which took her almost 6+ months to fully accomplish. I quickly started working on a behavior modification for her reactivity issues and desentization program for her handling fears. While working Curi through these problems, I quickly realized how intelligent she was and immediately enrolled her in some obedience classes. Curi was progressing nicely, climbing the ranks through classes, testing out different dog sports, and working on gaining her Therapy Dog Title. Curi proceeded to earn her TDI title in 2009 and found her true love in Agility. Curi loved Agility and was always eager to conquer a new adventure in her agility classes. I was thrilled to finally have a dog that had the potential to compete! And then, it happened…
August 5, 2010 Curious woke up was unable to control any of her natural motor functions (including walking, vision and breathing was labored). After days in the hospital she was diagnosed via MRI with a cyst on her brain stem. Curi needed emergency brain surgery in order to have any chance of surviving. Nobody thought she make it through the surgery, but I knew my Curi was strong enough to do it. She refused to give up her fight even after being placed on a ventilator to aid her in breathing.
But making it through surgery was only the first step. As she recovered, it became clear that Curi’s agility days were over. We were back to the beginning in teaching her how to walk and handle stairs. – Contacts and Weaves were faded thought.
As I thought about Curi’s future I realized that my expectations needed to be realistic ones for her. What could she handle training wise? Could she learn new things? Why does she become frustrated so easily now? Does she even like training anymore? As Curi built up her strength I slowly started training with her again, but in keeping all of my new questions in mind so that I made appropriate decisions for her. Although I found that Curi still loved training, she is only able to handle it in short segments now.
Today, 2 years later, Curi is able to attend agility classes, but she is only capable of handling jumps and tunnels. Curi can no longer do any contact equipment as it causes her to lose her balance and she has a potential to injury herself by falling off. Curi went from up and coming competitor in agility to doing small courses just for fun, and I am OK with that. In fact I LOVE that! I am in love with every ounce of Curious, imperfections and all! Nobody is perfect, right? Then why do so many of use expect our dogs to be without imperfections?
Curi’s life is not about what she can do for me, but about how I can make her life as fulfilling as possible. I am just one example of many trainers with an imperfect dog, striving to do for her what makes her happiest and most content…And if that is playing on an agility course for fun and avoiding other dogs on a walk then so be it!
As far as what happened to the other trainer’s client; I’m not sure. My hope is that she put them on a behavior modification plan to teach the dogs to live with each other and perhaps actually like each other. Or at the very least, given the owners a “no dog is perfect, but we love them anyway” speech. But one thing is for sure, no dog that I’ve ever owned ‘fit the mold’ of a perfect dog. But part of what gives each dog the character that makes me love them are the imperfections themselves.
So stop worrying about perfection and go hug your imperfect dog!
-By Christy Grossman, CPDT-KA
