by Elizabeth Silverstein

MJ, then called Libby, didn’t look good when Lauren Haley and her husband, Doug, first saw her listed on Petfinder by the Trenton Animal Shelter.

Image from MJ’s Petfinder profile

Missing fur, she was all skin and bones. She had a deep gash in her neck, recently had given birth, and had been found abandoned in a park. “When we met her, she was so sweet,” Lauren shared. “We knew she was the right dog for our family. We’re also very particular to blocky-head pitbull, so she was also the breed we were looking for.”

Image from MJ’s Petfinder profile

They had lost their previous dog, Sandy, to cancer in February 2019. Sandy had also been used for breeding. “There’s something about those mama dogs that have been used  and abandoned,” Lauren said. “They have a special place in my heart.”

They called her MJ, or officially, Mary Jane Watson Barker, from Spiderman, as the couple loves superheroes. They recently celebrated her third birthday and Gotcha Day in October. And recent DNA results came back with 100% American Bully, a new breed developed in the 1980s from Staffordshire Terriers and American Pit Bull Terriers. While not recognized by the American Kennel Club (AKC), the breed is recognized by the United Kennel Club (UKC).

Training had begun in their house even before MJ arrived. After Sandy passed away, the couple started fostering dogs from March to October until they were ready for a more permanent addition to their family. They’d taken in a few dogs with behavior issues, and had tried working with another trainer. “I’m a board-certified behavior analyst,” Lauren explained. “I work with kids and adults using applied behavior analysis. I love behavior in general.”

The training methods the other dog trainer used clashed with what Lauren knew about behavior. “At the time, I didn’t know anything about modern training,” Lauren shared. “They were telling me things that didn’t make sense to me.”

Lauren and Doug with MJ

She was referred to Philly Unleashed instead, working with Dana Falsetta. “It was the first time I realized that dog training was more than obedience,” Lauren said. “It was about honoring who the dogs are and giving them the skills to be successful in our human world.”

By the time MJ came along, Dana was moving on to other ventures, and Lauren asked her for other trainer recommendations and started working with Cassi. “I love them both,” Lauren said. “I could really nerd out on behavior terms with Dana, and Cassi is super knowledgeable and has all of these great analogies for behavior that I even steal for my human clients. They’re both exceptional at what they do.”

MJ, Lauren, and Doug passed Level 1 last December, and Lauren and MJ just completed their first agility lesson with Cassi. When Lauren and her husband learned they had a baby on the way, they spent time in private lessons getting MJ ready for the new addition to their family. Training has brought out a special impact on their relationship. “I loved our dog, Sandy,” Lauren explained. “She was my whole heart. I’ll never have another dog like her. I wish I knew the things with Sandy that I know with MJ now. Sandy was my best friend. And MJ is my best friend in a different way because of the bond I’ve made with her from training. Sandy was anxious too but we were able to make it work just with management strategies. The time and effort we have put into training with MJ, getting her ready and used to the world around her and used to the baby. MJ and I have both needed to learn patience as we figure out how to communicate with eachother. I’ve never bonded with another dog the way I’ve bonded with her because of the training that we’ve done.”

They spent a lot of time working on the skills that she needed for when the baby arrived, and Cassi helped Lauren realize what MJ was asking for. “I was explaining what I wanted MJ to do, and Cassi recognized how anxious MJ was,” Lauren explained. “Cassi looked at me and asked, ‘Well, does she have to do that, though? Do you need her to?’”

Lauren realized her goals were more person-centered, instead of dog-centered. “MJ has led a more enriched life because of it,” Lauren shared. “Our lives have been enriched. She doesn’t have to be downstairs with us with a million people. She’s not happy down there. Training her to have a safe haven in our bedroom has been a game changer. She’s safe. I know she’s calm. It’s given her the confidence and kept her below threshold enough to introduce her to people with management strategies in place. Now her circle has grown, and instead of just Doug and myself our immediate family is able to visit. MJ was even able to stay at home with Doug’s mom for 5 days while we were in the hospital with our baby.

Lauren has been absorbing as much as possible, including ways to rethink training and obedience. “Your relationship with your dog shouldn’t just be about giving a cue and them responding to it,” Lauren said. “Training should be a conversation between you and your dog. They should be able to tell you about their environment and you listen to that and honor their needs. It’s our job to help our dogs work through this scary human world that they’re in. if you’re paying attention, they let you know when they’re uncomfortable and when they’ve had enough, and that’s more important than getting them farther faster in your training goals.”

The communication has helped build their relationship. “She does things on her terms,” Lauren said. “She’s not a dog that just does whatever I want her to whenever I say. If she’s going to do something for me, she wants to do it for me, because of the relationship we have and how it’s been reinforced in the past. And I really appreciate that about her. Consent is so important and teaching dogs how to consent to the training process is important. I need to keep teaching her how to do that, but she does so much of it on her own already.”

They’re continuing to work on her stranger and dog reactivity and her prey drive towards squirrels. Cues like “touch” help her learn fun things like “go say hello” and “boing”, a trick where she leaps up like a dolphin jumping out of the water. “She’s very proud of herself when she does it,” Lauren shared. “But she’s not very graceful.”

And even with the responsibility of a new baby, Lauren has made sure to continue training with MJ. “It’s hard,” Lauren shared. “It’s hard to commit to training when you have a newborn or kids. My dog was my baby first and she deserves all of the attention I gave her before, even if it looks different. It’s hard. I’m not saying it isn’t. But it’s so important.”

Check out MJ’s journey (with her new human sibling!) on Instagram at @mjwatsonbarker.